


Double Date

by VigilantSycamore



Series: BatCat Week 2018 [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bat-Burger, BatCat Week 2018, Double Date, Fluff, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 06:46:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16550924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VigilantSycamore/pseuds/VigilantSycamore
Summary: Talia and Shiva leave Gotham tomorrow, but there's one part of the Authentic Gotham Experience they haven't had yet: Bat-Burger. Bruce and Selina have decided to do something about this, so it's time for a double date.





	Double Date

“So let me see if I understand this,” Lady Shiva said. “This establishment is a fast-food restaurant based on Gotham’s vigilantes and their rogues’ gallery.”

The cashier nodded nervously.

“You have Robbin Nuggets, KGBLT, Riddle-Me-Fish, Killer Croque-Monsieurs, Two-Face Sandwiches, Not-Poison Ivy Salad, and even Jokerised Bat-Fries.”

The cashier nodded again.

“And yet you don’t have anything named after me, Lady Shiva, the most feared assassin in the world, co-founder of the League of Shadows, former enemy-slash-mentor of several members of the Bat-Family, and current quasi-ally of the Bat-Family.”

The cashier gulped.

“Beloved,” Talia said, “stop scaring the boy. If you’re going to antagonize someone over this, it should be the manager or even the CEO.”

“Yeah,” the cashier agreed. He lowered his voice and whispered, “I shouldn’t be saying this while I’m on the job, but capitalism is the enemy.”

Shiva shrugged. “Alright. I’ll have the Killer Croque-Monsieur, and a Bat-Soda. What about you, Talia?”

Talia hummed. “Is the Bat-Burger halal?” she asked the cashier.

“That is one of the options,” the kid confirmed. “And we cook the Bat-Fries in different oil than any of our Bat-Burgers.”

“Then I’ll have a halal Bat-Burger, a side of Bat-Fries – _not_ Jokerised – and a Bat-Soda.” She turned to Bruce and Selina, who were standing behind them. “What about you two?”

Bruce and Selina looked at each other, and nodded.

“We’ll have two KGBLTs – one regular and one kosher - two Bat-Sodas, and a side of Bat-Fries,” Bruce said.

“That silent communication thing is so weird,” Shiva whispered to Talia.

“You get used to it,” Talia replied.

A few moments later, the four of them were eating at a table by the windows.

“Subhan Allah, this is good,” Talia said.

“Yeah, if there’s one thing they know at Bat-Burger, it’s how to make amazing fast food,” Selina agreed.

“I’m still mad they don’t have anything named after me,” Shiva said.

“I know the CEO,” Bruce said, “I can set up a meeting if you want.”

“Thank you,” Shiva smiled.

“So, how’s married life treating you two?” Talia asked Bruce and Selina.

“It’s amazing,” Selina said. “Seriously, I’m starting to wish we’d done this sooner.”

Bruce smiled. “Yeah, proposing to Selina was the best decision I ever made.”

Selina smiled back at him and kissed him. Fortunately, they separated fairly quickly this time.

“What about you guys?” Bruce asked Talia and Shiva. “What’s it like being married while leading the League of Shadows?”

“Well, there are definitely perks,” Shiva said. “We have the same job, so we don’t have to worry about balancing work with our personal life. Also, Talia’s just incredible.”

“ _You’re_ incredible, Beloved,” Talia said.

“How did you two get together anyway?” Selina asked.

“How did you and Bruce get together?” Talia responded.

“He got shot, I saved his life, we figured out each other’s secret identities, we had an argument about it, then we started working together, and ended up serenading each other during karaoke night,” Selina said.

“That’s… yeah, that’s basically how it happened,” Bruce conceded. “Except Selina didn’t mention the months of mutual pining.”

“I find it hard to imagine either of you pining,” Shiva said.

“Oh no, we pined for each other like _hell_ ,” Selina said. “Just like I’m sure you and Talia did.”

“I do _not_ -” Shiva began, then backtracked, “I-I mean, that’s classified!”

“’Classified?’” Bruce repeated. “By who?” When Shiva didn’t answer, he said, “Yeah, you definitely pined.”

Talia nodded to confirm that. “And to answer your question, Selina, it happened while I was on the run from Ra’s.” She smiled fondly. “I’d asked Sandra to protect me, and well, it was just the two of us looking out for each other. There was one night in Siberia where we had to conserve body heat, and one thing led to another…” she trailed off.

Selina blinked. “I have written Masanti fanfics with that exact premise,” she said.

Shiva leaned over to whisper in Talia’s ear. “What’s ‘Masanti’?”

“It’s a ship from the Clayface comics,” Talia replied. “Apparently Selina’s just as much of a Clayface nerd as Bruce is.”

The four of them chatted like that for the rest of their double date – even after they left the Bat-Burger, the conversation kept going until they got back to Wayne Manor.

“That was fun,” Talia said when they stepped out of Bruce’s limo. “We should do it again sometime.”

“Maybe next time we’re in Gotham?” Shiva suggested.

“I’m up for it,” Bruce said. “Selina?”

“Sure,” Selina agreed.

They all shook hands on it before going inside the Manor.

“You know, up until tonight I did _not_ know Shiva’s real name was Sandra,” Selina said.

“And as far as you’re concerned, it isn’t,” Shiva smirked at her. “Only Talia’s allowed to call me that.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story actually takes place after Holy Batrimony! and Fourteen Days of BatCat. If you read those stories, you'll know that Talia is a friend of the Bat-Family by that point in the timeline for this series.  
> Lady Shiva's real name in the comics is Sandra Wu-San.


End file.
